The Expandables.

I recently heard of this movie from a friend and I was shocked from the amount of Hollywood big "stars" gathering under one single movie. And what even surprised me more is that is directed by Sylvester Stallone (made sense after I saw it). Anyway the cast is like this: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, Mickey Rourke and some more.

The story is kind of simple: Barney Ross (played by Sylvester Stallone) is the leader of a mercenary’s team who does the “dirty” job for CIA, the mission to eliminate the leader of an army from some strange forgotten island. After accepting the mission, the leader and Jason Statham (as Lee Christmas) goes to investigate the area and Sylvester Stallone falls in love with the women who not only that was their guide but also the daughter  of the general they needed to kill. After escaping there with a lot of running and 41 killed soldiers, the leader decides to abandon the mission and the team members agreed because they believed that the same CIA hired them will also kill them after. But strangely, Stallone had a change of heart and decided to go back and save his girl, who didn’t wanted to go with them and was captured by the guy who paid the general to do what he wants, and his dear friends decided to join him in the mission.

After some very brutal and rude fight scenes and the entire general building blown up, he manage to save the girl from the hands of the evil guy and she still decided to stay there while he went back to his home without even kiss her or something. Just a friendly hug… after he took airplane thousands of miles and risked his life (was even shot). That’s some … tasteless story.

I think his a good Rambo actor, but maybe directing is not on the list of his talents. The film was just a mix of big names, not very mixed together and not very cooperating with each other like everyone had their film and this is just a mix of it and the story is kind of stupid, if you ask me. Oh, I didn’t mentioned the starting part where they saved don’t know what prisoners from don’t know what army that almost killed them… and they where shooting like crazy everywhere but still, they saved them.

And there is a part even much more stupid when Jason Statham comes home after a month and find his girlfriend with somebody else in the house. That happened before the investigating mission. After that he goes back to her, saw her bruise made from that guy he left her with, guy invited by that girl in the house (not for making cookies of course) and than he goes and beat the crap out of that guy and his 4 friends on a basketball field and told her “Now you know what I do for a living. I’m not perfect but you should have waited. I was worth it.” That’s the 3^rd girl saw in the money after Barney’s love and a hooker in the begging. I think with that huge budget spent on muscles, not much left for feminine presents.

And you have the honor to see in the movie for a scenes (maxim 4 minutes) the terminator, the governator, the mister Olympia Arnold Schwarzenegger and in the same scene the hard-to-kill Bruce Willis. Uuuh… so exciting!!! Not!

Most important of all, beside the fact the movie is packed with tons of tattoos, letter vests, arms, knifes, reflectors, berets and a lot of butchering, three single female characters (two whores and a saint that is the daughter of an evil dictator), stupid jokes (like the one in church from Bruce Willis : “You guys aren't gonna start suckin' each other's d*cks, right?”, referring to Stallone and Schwarzenegger ) and a very dumb story the most intriguing thing is that you ask yourself: where are the good guys? In one side we have some cold-blooded mercenaries that kill for millions of dollars not for world peace and from the other side their targets, in this case a cold blooded general with his army. So where is the balance here? I think nobody else could make some stupid overwhelmed masculine movie with a too big quantity of testosterone in the air more than Sylvester Stallone. But who knows, maybe Schwarzenegger will try to overtop him and I hope will not try this. Where the good movies at?
I think this movie should be called "Rambo and his friends" ... much more relevant. 

PS: They are so exagerating in trailer :))